If they ask for your advice, give it if you so choose. These are statements in a conversation which help someone to feel listened to, understood, and hopeful that things can improve. Expressions like ‘tough love’, ‘big girl panties’ and ‘sad sack’ might swirl in our heads. It permeates the day in a negative way and may include symptoms that are both emotional and physical. Knowing what to say to someone who is depressed, sad, or suffering can be daunting. However, there…. “Don’t say, ‘Is there anything I can do to help?’ It’s such a nice thing to say, but I 100 percent hate it. Make sure to listen without interrupting. 2016;209(4):284-293. doi:10.1192/bjp.bp.115.169094, Ⓒ 2021 About, Inc. (Dotdash) — All rights reserved, Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Suggest—and listen. When you want to say more, but have a hard time expressing what you feel, try referencing the following statements someone who is depressed might find helpful to hear. Sometimes people who are depressed just need to talk without having the conversation taken over with well-meaning advice. Dialogues Clin Neurosci. But they can help. Here are some suggestions for talking with a depressed person. If someone talks about killing themselves, feeling hopeless, being a burden, having no reason to live, or feeling trapped, be concerned. If you know the person, you will most likely already be familiar with their problems. Often the simplest way to initiate a conversation is to be direct—ask your friend if they are depressed. Lots of people experience depression, while others just have bad days or just are feeling down on themselves. 3. When they’re having a hard time and need someone to talk to, they may remember your offer and come to you. Often, the best words to say are, "I don't understand, but I really want to.". What to say to someone who has depression, American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, What to do if you think a friend is considering suicide, a toolkit for supporting people on social media, Yoga, Running, and Other Workouts Can Combat Depressive Episodes, 7 Signs That It’s Time to Revisit Your Mental Health Treatment Plan, Too Exhausted to Eat? Just remember: Advice isn’t the same as asking for help. This is from the data we have. The idea behind these is to provide non-judgemental solidarity with the anxiety sufferer, as well as an assurance of support, while they navigate their way through the difficult times. Remember to listen first. You should try it.”, “So many people out there are worse off than you.”, looking for a way to end their life, such as searching online for methods, withdrawing from activities and isolating from family and friends, visiting or calling people to say goodbye, giving away prized possessions or acting reckless, other symptoms of depression, such as aggression, fatigue, and sleeping too much or too little. Pharmacological Treatments. Spend Some Time With Them; 2.4 4. If someone you love has depression, encourage them to seek professional help if they haven’t already done so. Read 10 Things You Should Never Say To A Depressed Person. Sometimes people feel ashamed by the depth of their sadness post-breakup, especially if it was a short, intense fling or someone … A friend of mine suffered a terrible breakup, became depressed, couldn't eat and lost weight, only to have people say… Instead, when trying to figure out what to say to someone who lost a loved one, try this. In this case, it would be best to simply admit that you don't understand exactly what they are going through, but you care about them and want to try. Bring Them Some Care Package; 2.3 3. Be A Good Listener; 2.2 2. Trivedi MH. Too many people with clinical depression feel alone—a state that only worsens their condition. If you don't know what to say, just say that—and tell your friend that you are there for them. This can help validate it’s working, even if they don’t always feel like it is. Reassure your friend that depression really is an illness caused by a biochemical imbalance in the brain, and it does not mean that they are weak. Your friend may be reluctant to accept your offer for fear of becoming a burden on you, so make it clear that you don't mind and want to help in the same way you know they would for you in a similar situation. Benazzi F. Various forms of depression. According to the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, there are three categories of suicide warning signs to look out for: What a person says can be an important indicator of suicidal ideations. Even if your friend's problems may seem minor to you, resist the urge to judge or come up with simple solutions. It’s always nice to know you’re loved or wanted. Nancy has a lifetime of experience with depression, experiencing firsthand how devastating this illness can be. Depression is a common mental health issue, meaning that many people will need to find constructive, positive ways to talk about it with their loved ones. Here are some places to start. when you're listening to a loved one, recognize that it might be a sign you are burnt out. Kennedy SH, Lam RW, Mcintyre RS, et al. Having a supportive person to talk to when you’re feeling depressed can really help ease the symptoms a little. If you or someone you love are having suicidal thoughts, contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 for support and assistance from a trained counselor. Life isn’t easy for anyone, but you need to pass the test every time or else you will be left alone behind all the people. Here are some words to say that will show your support, while also allowing the person to feel what they are feeling. Suicide isn’t inevitable. There are no magic words that will make someone feel better and it can be tough to know what to say to someone that is suffering. “People who are depressed know that they’re not in a desirable condition, and yet they still want to be viewed as desirable,” Shenell D. Evans, Ph.D. , … 2004;6(Suppl 1):12-6. It’s not a flaw or weakness. I decided to approach things from the other direction in this article, and detail ten things that you can, and indeed should, say to someone with anxiety. Each person is an individual with unique thoughts and feelings, and being angry and upset is the nature of depression. Remember, too, that the help you think your friend may need may not match with what would actually be beneficial in their eyes. That’s how it feels. Here, mental health experts share exactly what to say to someone who is depressed, so you can be there for your loved ones in need. While reaching out to someone with depression can’t cure them, social support can remind them they’re not alone. While there's no one answer for 'what to do say to someone who is depressed', it’s important to make sure that they know you are there for them, be it to talk or to just hang out. If you know someone feeling sad, hugging it out is really comforting. Block, MD, Tell Them You Understand (If You Really Do), Assure Them They're Not Weak or Defective, How to Talk to Your Kids About Depression, What You Need to Know if Your Partner Is an Introvert, How to Be There for Someone You Care About, How to Help a Friend or Loved One With Anxiety, How to Talk to Your Doctor About Depression, Worst Things to Say to Someone Who Is Depressed, Ways to Support a Victim of Sexual Assault, Tips on Disclosing Your Depression to Friends, How to Support a Friend or Loved One With an Eating Disorder, 4 Things You Should Never Say to Someone During a Panic Attack, Daily Tips for a Healthy Mind to Your Inbox, Loneliness as a specific risk factor for depressive symptoms: Cross-sectional and longitudinal analyses, The relationship between social support networks and depression in the 2007 National Survey of Mental Health and Well-being, Seeking help for depression from family and friends: A qualitative analysis of perceived advantages and disadvantages, The link between depression and physical symptoms. It is not always easy to know what to say when a person you care about is clinically depressed. Expressions like ‘tough love’, ‘big girl panties’ and ‘sad sack’ might swirl in our heads. I can't. It can be as simple as picking up a phone, sharing a meal, or driving them to an appointment. Having a supportive person to talk to when you’re feeling depressed can really help ease the symptoms a little. Maybe they’re not eating well and you can pick up dinner. During this time, what your friend needs most is not references to fast, easy solutions, but an awareness that you will be by their side through their treatment. “People with depression don’t choose to be sad or pessimistic and saying something trite that doesn’t acknowledge the difficulty of depression is not helpful at all,” said Ross. Instead, make it clear that you are there for them. While you are reassuring your friend that they have a real illness, you can also reassure them that there is hope, because, like any other medical illness, depression is treatable. In fact, it takes a great deal of strength to fight back, so they are probably much stronger than they think they are. It is most tempting when you find out someone is depressed, to attempt to immediately fix the problem. For more mental health resources, see our National Helpline Database. Social support and protection from depression: Systematic review of current findings in Western countries. If You Suspect a Friend or Loved One is Thinking of Suicide. The biochemical imbalances associated with depression are what is driving how bad your friend feels about certain situations—not the situations themselves. Those who are coping with depression tend to feel weak or that there is something wrong with them. If you have, it may be helpful for your friend to hear that you have experienced what they are feeling and that it can get better. Interacting with someone who’s sad and hurting can be awkward; you want to be there for them, show your empathy, and strengthen your relationship, but it’s hard to know how to act and what to say. It’s estimated that from 2013 to 2016, 8.1 percent of U.S. adults experienced depression at least once. Here, we figure out exactly what — and what not — to say to someone who may be going through it. Research has shown that people tend to withdraw when they are depressed, so reaching out to a friend in need is an important first step. But you don't have to pretend. Depression is a medical condition. Knowing what to say to someone who is depressed isn't always easy. 2016;61(9):540-60. doi:10.1177/0706743716659417, Lépine JP, Briley M. The increasing burden of depression. Research has shown that the likelihood of depression in the past year has reduced with high-quality social connection. It’s also common for depressed people to say hurtful things and lash out in anger. 1. It's terrible." Depressed people may not necessarily be in a state of mind to know or say what will help them, but just hearing someone's willingness and openness can help lift their spirits. Pharmacological Treatments, Social support and protection from depression: Systematic review of current findings in Western countries. 1 Best Comforting Messages For A Friend Who Is Sad; 2 Extra Tips On How To Make Your Friend Happy Again. 13.   You need to take care of your own emotional and mental health before you can help someone else with theirs. We can all help prevent suicide. Sometimes people will lash out at those trying to help them because they are hurting and don't know where to direct those bad feelings. 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